


Sorrow and Delusions

by FiteMeMage



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, POV First Person, Why?, abandonment issues bitch, do you have anxiety?, do you hear me sobbing in the distance?, have some angst for dinner, my first fanfic oh boy oh boy, takes place on the 7th day after the last visual novel, well I sure do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 04:37:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8273098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiteMeMage/pseuds/FiteMeMage
Summary: After getting dismissed by Seven on the 7th day's last visual novel, an anxiety attack ensues.Who woulda thunk?Not Seven, most likely.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I can deeply relate to Saeran's abandonment induced delusions. Abandonment issues are the cause of my mental troubles.
> 
> Also, I wrote this in first person POV, because writing in second person make very little sense to me. If the "you" is meant to be well... You.... And you read inside your own head like a normal person, reading the words "I, me, my, etc," makes actual sense in your personal thoughts, like it is actually "you" experiencing the story.
> 
> Anyway, I've read many fanfics- mostly sexual cough- but have never attempted to write one on my own. So... Don't expect too much. Oh, and I might make multiple chapters of angsty hurt/comfort things involving the other characters and the MC's anxiety attacks, if this one gets decent reception at least. So please yell at me in the comics all you want after reading this.

As I attempted to relax and settle myself down for the night in Rika's old bedroom, staring at the blank ceiling, the events of the day finally came crashing down upon me, stealing the air from my lungs, as they began to constrict. I shot up in bed with a shallow gasp.  
"Shit..." I sighed rather breathlessly, "Please not... Right now."  
An anxiety attack was the last thing I needed. 707 needed peace and quiet and I most definitely didn't want to disturb him. Between Saeran almost spiriting me away, the "special security system" almost detonating, and sleeplessly worrying over Seven the last couple of nights, it was hard to deny my body the wish to completely and utterly stop functioning.  
I tried my best to work on my breathing exercises, the same ones my mother taught me long ago, but the building mental malfunction only grew worse as tears burned my eyes.  
I gently put my feet on the cold floor and attempted to quietly make my way to the bathroom. I softly shut the door behind me, and shakily turned on the faucets, Seven was done with his shower, and the air was heavy with steam, making my labored breathing all the more difficult.  
I sobbed out loud and splashed cold water across my heated face. My knees were weak, the lack of oxygen summoned the shadowy wisps of darkness to my vision.  
"Oh God, oh God, oh God...."  
I fell the floor, my hands numbly dragging across the cool porcelain of the sink as the water began to rush out over the edges. I couldn't do anything except stare down at my hands supporting me on the floor, hoping to catch my breathe as my vision grew blurry with tears.  
I groaned exasperatedly and pushed myself back to lean against the tub, hugging my arms to my chest as I began rocking back and forth.  
"Please make... It... stop...."  
Saeran mentioned "Paradise."  
Did anxiety exist in Paradise?  
Did painful memories exist?  
Would I be happy there?  
Would Seven?  
I wanted to go. I wanted to live in a perfect world...  
"NO!" I screamed and dug my nails into my arms so hard I felt the skin break. I wasn't thinking clearly... How could I be? Saeran seemed far more unstable than myself or even Seven.  
Seven...  
I sobbed harder, my vision almost completely drowned in the soot of terrible thoughts. I just wanted to help him, I wanted to make him happy, I wanted him to smile and make stupid jokes with me a-and laugh with me and...  
"Oh God... Seven...." I cried, and hugged myself until I shook, ripping my skin open more. As I began to slip down the tub, the bathroom door swung open.  
"What in- Oh my God!" Seven screamed as he almost slipped in the water which had now covered the floor.  
"Oh my God! Oh my God!" He gasped, his eyes going wide as he ran to me, sliding along the slick tile on his knees and trying to pull my hands away from the bloody crescents I had left in my arms.  
"Stop that! Look at what you're doing to yourself! Are you okay? Holy shit, please tell me you're okay!" He cried out, his voice sounding distorted through the haze of my ringing ears.  
He was touching me.  
It burned, it hurt more to be touched by someone else than to hurt myself.  
"Let go! Of ME!" I hissed, lashing out and backhanding him in the face. His glasses flew off as he sucked in air through his teeth, his lips trembling. He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes and whispered my name.  
I sobbed harder at the realization of my actions, and repeatedly apologized, until my panting wouldn't allow the words to come out.  
"Shhh! It's okay. I should have... I should have known better than to be aggressive with someone in this state. Y-you're having an anxiety attack, right? Is that what it is?" He asked softly, gently touching my hand.  
"I won't get too close. I know what it's like. I have those too, okay? It's okay.... I'm here..."  
I couldn't tell him that he was partially the reason this happened. He was so close but so far away. After I was safe, after he fixed the system... Would he abandon me too?  
Just like everyone else?  
My sobbing was less of a pained cry and more of a gentle, pathetic hiccuping by now.  
He wouldn't... He wouldn't....  
"Y-you won't will you?"  
Seven tilted his head and knitted his brows at my question.  
"W-won't l-leave me... Leave me... Like everyone e-else does..." His beautiful golden eyes went wide as tears began to collect in them, he contorted his mouth into something strange, and bit his lip. The tears continued to flow as I brought his hand that was lightly patting my own to my face and leaned into it.  
"I don't... Don't want you t-to leave.... Leave me... L-Luciel... I love... I love..."  
"Please stop." He choked out. "Don't say anything else, just come here."  
I complied and threw myself into his open arms. He hugged me gently at first, like he was afraid I would shatter at the slightest disturbance. I gripped his shirt tightly, and buried my face into his neck, the tears slowing as I breathed him in. He then held me tighter, thinking that I would disappear anyway, no matter how light his touch.  
I couldn't tell what the hug meant.  
I just sighed and accepted it, hoping it meant he loved me too.  
Even if he didn't...  
No...  
Never mind.  
I'm fine with my own delusions.


End file.
